Brew Reviews

Santa's Butt Winter Porter

Availability: Winter seasonal.

Price comparison: Dunno - it came as part of my Beer of the Month package.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%.

Cute bottle/label? Standard shaped 11.2-ounce brown glass bottle. Guess what's depicted on the label. (Don't worry; the Big Guy's not mooning, just sitting with his back towards the viewer, on a "butt" - British for "barrel.") A quote on the importer's (Shelton Brothers) page says "The illustration for the Santa's Butt label was painted by Massachusetts artist Gary Lippincott... The poor guy works for beer."

Appearance: Deep brownish-black with a bright dark-amber highlight. Very little in the way of visible carbonation and only a small island of head seconds after pouring.

Scent: Nicely malty with some plum and a bit of coffee.

Flavor: Not as festive, if you will, as I had hoped, based on its seasonal attitude and punchy aroma. A little malt, not much hops, and a dry but not impressive finish.

Impressions: Decently serviceable session porter. Just because I wasn't blown away by it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

Will I buy this beer again? It's really pretty good British porter. If I was in the market for it and saw it, I'd probably buy it based on the cute label art and the seasonality of it all. Note that I didn't get around even to drinking this bottle till nearly Easter.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Ruddles County Ale

Price comparison: Slightly less than the average domestic, but only because it was part of a special promotional package. I believe the regular price of this beer is about the same or a bit more than the average domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.7%.

Cute bottle/label? Chunky 25 ounce clear glass bottle with a ripcap. Also available in nitro cans.

Appearance: Clear orange with a small off-white head and not much lace. Syrupy brown ring left behind in the bottom of the bottle (possibly a common thing not usually noticed except that this bottle is of clear glass).

Scent: Lightly nutty, with some citrus and pineapple and some fruitlike hops.

Flavor: Sweet malt with some gentle fruitiness to it, and a very bitter hops finish. Became more malty as it warmed.

Impressions: I'd never seen a ripcap before and found it so amusing that I put it onto my keyring. Also, I liked the ripcap in the sense that the bottle had a nice wide mouth but was not threaded, making it pretty easy to drink out of if that's your thing.

This is an extremely drinkable session brew, thirst-quenching, but not particularly strong. Two were in order to get the nice buzz of one better-balanced and smaller (twelve-ounce) Canadian ale, yet two also meant twice as many bathroom breaks. Furthermore, I felt this ale could have used the creamy mouthfeel usually imparted by the nitro can to improve its flavor, cute as the ripcap was.

Will I buy this beer again? Perhaps in the nitro can. I will, however, be on the lookout for other brews with the ripcap. I do find them very cute indeed.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Adnams Suffolk Special Bitter

Price comparison: About $2 more per 24 ounces than the average national domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.3%

Cute bottle/label? 25 ounce heavy brown glass bottle with Adnams name molded into the base of the glass. Label is orange and purple depicting the lighthouse at Southwold.

Appearance: Clear bright orange with a smooth white, long-lasting head and clingy lace.

Scent: Very clean, lightly metallic but not unappetizingly so; floral and citrus hops.

Flavor: Malt and some butter with a refreshing bitter finish.

Impressions: As with just about any British bitter, don't serve it freshly cold out of the fridge. I pull this stuff out and let it sit on the counter unopened for twenty minutes to half an hour before pouring it into a chilled glass. It's a bit harshly carbonated, but great with anything salty.

Will I buy this beer again? Very refreshing and drinkable; well balanced and uncomplicated. Also it's fairly easy to get hold of and not terribly expensive. There are bitters I prefer, but I don't dislike this one and I can recommend it with a clear conscience as well. Good drinking on a school/work night, with its low ABV.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Thomas Hardy's Ale

Availability: 2003 vintage; numbered limited edition. Still a small amount of the 2003 available for purchase, but once that's gone, no more will be available for about another four to five years.

Price comparison: About six times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 11.7% at bottling (in 2003), but probably stronger than that by now, and designed to grow stronger yet as time progresses.

Cute bottle/label? Tiny slender 8½ ounce brown glass with a foil neck wrap, plain black bottle cap, and serial number 007631 on the understated beige label. The high spot of this packaging is a small metal ornament with Thomas Hardy's silhouette on one side, and the words "Thomas Hardy's Ale, Brewed and Bottled by O'Hanlon's Brewing Company Ltd, Whimple, Devon, England" on the other. This ornament is suspended round the neck of the bottle with a small length of bright red string and is going to have a nice spot on my Christmas tree next year.

Appearance: A bright yet thick amber with no head and very light carbonation.

Scent: Fresh red bell pepper with hints of brandy and lemon custard. (Three scents you wouldn't expect to blend well together, yet they do, very much so.)

Flavor: Lovely dessert-wine sweetness, like cabernet, with some citrus peel and raisin characteristic as well. There's a lot going on, in terms of flavor, and it changes as the brew warms to room temperature: a little more caramel; a little more vanilla; fine brandy at the finish.

Impressions: This beer is huge. In a year or so it will be barleywine, if it isn't already. The hops are barely there but enough so for balance.

Will I buy this beer again? I have two set aside that I'm picking up at the end of the week. One for me, one for Laura. Mine's getting cellared.

This ale is not cost-effective for gulping down whilst eating peanuts and watching the game, but I highly recommend your getting some while you can. The brew is bottle-tempered and the bottle itself is designed such that you could open it twenty years from now and the beer inside should be magnificent. Call it an investment.

Rating:

5 out of 5 cute beer glasses — perfect score!

Boddington's Pub Ale

Price comparison: About $2 more per 24 ounces than the average national domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.7%

Cute bottle/label? Black and yellow nitro can depicting a barrel with two bees (representing the two B's of Boddingtons Breweries) sitting on it.

Appearance: Pale gold with the trademark tight head and downward-flowing carbonation of the nitro can. Thin strips of lace left behind as the glass is emptied; diagonal smears of near-microscopic bubbles cluster on the glass below the surface of the ale.

Scent: Maybe a little bit of malt and yeast, but really nothing specifically discernable in the aroma.

Flavor: Very smooth and subtle; slight hops and a vaguely metallic finish.

Impressions: Take the can out of the fridge ten minutes before cracking it open and it tastes a lot better than if you pour it cold.

Will I buy this beer again? It's pretty good, but the best thing about it by far is the mouthfeel; the creamy nitro texture combined with the low ABV make for a very comfortable brew altogether. It doesn't have a lot of distinction, flavorwise, and it's a bit pricey, but I wouldn't hesitate to purchase this again, especially if I was going to be serving it to someone unused to higher alcohol ales. Also, while its lack of assertiveness works against it as a session brew, in my opinion, it works in its favor in terms of versatility; this ale would taste right with just about any food.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Trafalgar India Pale Ale

Price comparison: About three times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%.

Cute bottle/label? 25 ounce capsule shaped brown glass bottle; blue-toned label depicting sailing ships and a navigator's globe. I freely admit to having selected this ale based solely on an attraction to the label art.

Appearance: Hazy orange, thin head with some lace on the surface.

Scent: Orange and lemon zest with some flowery hops.

Flavor: Bitter and peppery with an earthy, herbal finish.

Impressions: Again, I'm noticing that the British IPAs are more of a cross between bitter and IPA than the American versions. This is nicely dry and versatile, but doesn't seem as well balanced as a domestic IPA.

Will I buy this beer again? There are other bitters and other IPAs that I like better than this and are more reasonably priced. This is good and I wouldn't turn it down, but I won't be buying it regularly, no matter how pretty the label is.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Abbot Ale

Price comparison: Priced about the same as the average national domestics.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5%

Cute bottle/label? Standard 12 ounce brown glass with green metallic label depicting some old clergy guy in a funny hat. Also available in nitro cans.

Appearance: Clear golden brown with a lightweight head and decent glass lace.

Scent: Sweet; butterscotch and malt.

Flavor: Nice hops with a yeasty back and a clean spring-waterlike finish.

Impressions: This is a nice smooth ale; delicately flavored and balanced for session drinking. Not for getting drunk quickly or for maintaining a buzz, but so much more appetizing than the standard domestics and comparably priced.

Will I buy this beer again? Absolutely. A perfect offering for guests: refreshing, good just for drinking but would also go well with snacks or a meal. And I won't feel guilty drinking this on a weeknight either.

Rating:

4 out of 5 cute beer glasses

JW Lees Harvest Ale

Availability: 2000 vintage; limited edition.

Price comparison: About three times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 11.5% at bottling. Nearly a 12 Percent Beer.

Cute bottle/label? Brown glass 275 ml bottle, label printed to resemble aged, stained parchment.

Appearance: Opaque reddish brown; not much head and no lacing.

Scent: Very sweet: malt, candy, raisins, and alcohol.

Flavor: The malt is stronger than the hops but not overpowering it. Very fruitlike and sweet, with an almost caramel finish.

Impressions: Easy does it; the label proclaims this to be an "old ale" but really it's a young barleywine. Also, I think it's stronger now than 11.5% ABV, though I've no proof other than its flavor and its kick, which reminded me of whiskey.

Will I buy this beer again? Yep. All reports say it ages well. I want to try some other vintages, if I can find them, and cellar some too. The teensy little bottles shouldn't take up too much space.

Rating:

4½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Harvey's Elizabethan Ale

Availability: A limited-edition ale. This bottle was #355 of the 1998 vintage.

Price comparison: About three times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 8.1% at bottling.

Cute bottle/label? 275 ml standard shaped brown glass bottle. Metallic label with the year 1953 marked prominently, referring to the fact that the Lizzie (as it's known colloquially in Sussex, its hometown) was originally brewed to honor the coronation of the queen.

Appearance: Dark cloudy brown, not heavily carbonated. Little head, quickly disappated, and no lacing to speak of, just a few scattered specks on the glass.

Scent: Smoky and deep, like sherry. Toffee, raisins, malt.

Flavor: The first flavor that this ale reminded me of was grilled steak, oddly (and pleasantly). It was definitely more like sherry than like beer, with a rich caramel flavor emerging as it warmed.

Impressions: This is stronger than it leads one to believe; its higher ABV is camouflaged by the heartiness of the flavors. It's earthy and comforting, but I'd be cautious about drinking it on an empty stomach. Fortunately, the balance of this ale is such that it would hold its own with almost any entrée (seafood, I'd say not, unless it was fried, but certainly any strongly-seasoned poultry, pork, or beef dish).

Will I buy this beer again? At three times the price of regular beer, this is a bit costly for regular consumption; there are other ales available, more reasonably priced, that are more special than this. I'd buy this again if I knew, for instance, that I needed something to serve with prime rib or leg of lamb; otherwise I think I'd just buy either beer or sherry.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Bad Elf

Recommended by: ska-t - sort of. Actually, he recommended Troeg's Mad Elf, but I couldn't find any, so I bought this to console myself.

Availability: Only sold during the winter holidays.

Price comparison: About twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%

Cute bottle/label? Twenty-five ounce brown glass. Label depicts a rather lecherous-looking elf and an admonition that "too much winter's ale may be bad for your elf, and may impair your ability to drive a sleigh or operate toy-making machinery."

Appearance: Dark golden with a frothy white head and lots of pretty lace on the glass.

Scent: Very hoppy and citrusy.

Flavor: Tastes like a mixture of traditional British bitter and American IPA. Hops and citrus peel predominate, as promised in the aroma, but there's also some spun sugar and malt in the background. The finish is unexpectedly dry but once you feel it, it makes sense.

Impressions: I was looking for one thing and found something completely and totally other. I never had an IPA that wasn't domestic before now, and I was intrigued by the concept. The Brits put their own spin on it that makes it different from the American IPA, yet not so different that you don't immediately recognize the style. Kudos to Scottie for pointing me in the right direction, even though this was so not what he had in mind.

Will I buy this beer again? I will, indeed, be having some more of this. Not anytime soon, as I'm currently inundated by new beers and have to lay off the reruns till after the holidays, but I may get a bottle to cellar for after the holidays, and perhaps yet another, because there's a lot of yeast at the bottom, to keep for next year.

I'd recommend this ale to lovers of British bitter or pale ales alike. This is a crowd-pleaser.

Rating:

4 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Old Speckled Hen

New feature:

If you recommend a beer to me, and I am able to acquire some for reviewing, and you have a website for which you'd like some extra traffic, I will give you thanks and a link back to your site.

Drawbacks to this feature:

• I can't always acquire the beers people recommend. Some of them simply aren't available or shippable to this part of the country.
• If I hate the beer you've recommended, are you really going to want a link back?

So I don't know how well this will work out in the long run, but, fortunately, in this case, it worked out well.

Recommended by: ska-t

Availability: The IHOD had it in bottles, all right, but I had to drive to Vernon to get it in cans.

Price comparison: Around the same price as everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5.2%

Cute bottle/label? The IHOD had clear glass bottles with octagonal white labels, either a single 25 ouncer or a four-pack of standards. The cans, which are a light beige, are not available at the IHOD.

You may wonder why I'm harping on the difference here. Read on.

Appearance: Out of the bottle: dark reddish. The head fizzled out almost immediately. Out of the can: glowing clear copper, with the cascading nitro head of a good stout, settling to clear and bubbly with a nice creamy topping.

Scent: From the nitro can, somewhat sweet, yet a touch of alcohol at the same time, like cough drops.

And here is the main reason I have been harping on the differences ...

From the clear glass bottle: SKUNK.

Flavor: From the nitro can: cream and vanilla with a background of banana and brown sugar and a crisp, lightly bitter finish. The mouthfeel of a stout with the flavor of a fine pale ale.

From the bottle: SOUR. Not pleasant.

Impressions: I had a helluva time with this one, as it had been recommended by someone whose opinion I respect, and my first encounter with it, in the bottle, was so unpleasant I was terrified to give it another go. However, I really felt that I couldn't review it in good conscience unless I gave it the benefit of the doubt, and I'm glad I did. The nitro cans, while not as conveniently available as the bottles to me, make Old Speckled Hen eminently drinkable, whereas the clear glass bottles, a bad idea in any case, caused my first experience to be a scary one. I'm grateful I was able to get past it without trauma.

Will I buy this beer again? Only in the nitro can. I not only do not recommend the bottled, I heartily advise against it. The can, on the other hand, rocks my world.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses for the canned version only

Millenium Brew

Price comparison: Nearly three times what I pay for everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 10% at bottling.

Cute bottle/label? 9.3 oz brown glass capsule bottle. Corked, but the type of cork requiring a corkscrew. Be forewarned.

Appearance: Cloudy amber, fair head with no lacing.

Scent: Alcohol, white grapes, slight cherry.

Flavor: Alcohol prevalent, very tart with a dry finish.

Impressions: This ale has a bit of a bad reputation for not having aged consistently. Half of the bottles are reported to have corked out (a slang term for losing palatability over time), so you have a one-in-two chance of getting something drinkable for your money.

If only my luck was as good in playing the lottery as in picking the correct bottle of old beer.

Who knows how high the alcohol content is at this point? 10% at bottling in 1997 after having already aged eighteen months, this didn't taste quite right to me at first, but by the time I'd got to the bottom of the bottle I didn't really give a damn. It had not gone bad; the smell and taste were very strong and peppery, but not unpleasantly so. And I got a damned good buzz off of it.

Unfortunately, I woke up at my usual time the next morning and felt like a tree full of owls. So even if you get a good bottle, you may regret it in the morning.

Will I buy this beer again? At three times the cost of more stable beer, I'd as soon not take a chance on getting a corked-out bottle. Just because I was lucky this time round doesn't mean my luck wouldn't change next time. The only way I can in good conscience recommend this ale is if you are a) a gambler at heart and don't mind the concept of possibly having to dump most of your investment into the sink; and/or b) are prepared for the possibility of a persistent need for headache remedies the next day.

Rating:

2 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Luxury Double Chocolate Stout

Price comparison: Twice what I pay for everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5.2%

Cute bottle/label? Dark brown glass 25 ounce (with a ram - insignia of the Ram Brewery - on the shoulder) ; royal purple label with gilt accents. Also available in the "nitro can" (a large-sized can with a plastic float inside designed to blend the nitrogen and CO₂ for the ultimate stout draught experience).

Appearance: Deep, darkest brown, like black coffee, with downward-flowing nitrogen bubbles and lavish, creamy foam.

Scent: Chocolate malt. A very basic, but appealing, aroma.

Flavor: Malty, mocha, thick yet silky; hops balancing out the sweetness; lightly bitter finish like semi-sweet dark chocolate.

Impressions: My very first impression of this beer was an almost fully-formed commercial playing itself out in my brain:

"You've got Hershey's Syrup in my Guinness!"
"Well, you've got Guinness in my Hershey's Syrup!"

If you know both of those flavors, you'll have the gist of the Double Chocolate Stout.

It's certainly luxurious. A very filling and comforting beer; not a thirst-quencher. Don't serve it with dessert, serve it instead of dessert. Also, don't serve it as cold as you would Guinness - I got the best results refrigerating for three hours but leaving the bottle out at room temperature for twenty minutes before opening. A nice alternative to cocoa on a winter night. If you like stout, this is a winner.

Will I buy this beer again? I like this quite a lot. It'll never replace Guinness in my heart, but it might come in as a relief player once in a while.

Rating:

4 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Monty Python's Holy Grail Ale

Price comparison: About twice what I pay for everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.7%

Cute bottle/label? This was the selling point, without question. Black Sheep Breweries utilizes an interesting bottle for all their bitters: a capsule-shaped brown glass bottle with broad shoulders (decorated with a cluster of grapevines* around their perimeter) holding a generous pint and nine ounces of liquid refreshment. The Monty Python Holy Grail Ale is no exception there. What makes it unique is its label, specially commissioned for the 30th anniversary of British comedy troupe Monty Python: a bright yellow background is home to a cartoon by Python artist/film director Terry Gilliam, hearkening back to the feature film Monty Python's Holy Grail. The "gr" in "grail" is exed out, furthering the joke and leading to the punch line: a subtext in smaller font reading "Tempered over burning witches."

Appearance: Caramel-colored with a nice head and a satisfactory island of lace on the surface.

Scent: A light yeastiness, other scents ambiguous to the point of being either nonexistent or just unrecognizable.

Flavor: Unremarkable British bitter ale. Nicely balanced and not at all unpleasant. Reminded me of eating pretzels (a little saltiness and baked flavor) but the aftertaste is more bittersweet.

Impressions: Definitely worth it for the collectibility of the bottle. Otherwise, there are better brews from the same part of the world, and equally good bitters from the same brewery, that go down about the same but far less expensively. Although I imagine the argument could be made that it was difficult for them to get as good a flavor as they did get, considering the number of witches they had to burn for the tempering process.

Will I buy this beer again? Honestly, I can't recommend this bitter for any reason other than its novelty factor. It's not bad but it's certainly not outstanding, nor did I expect it to be. I bought it for the bottle, I have the bottle, and that's enough for me.

However, I am not unaware that some of you, like me, want the bottle, and will therefore want to drink the ale, just to say you did. If you don't normally drink British bitter ale, this may taste funny to you. And funny, while important if you're a member of a 30 year-old comedy troupe, is not always welcome in a beverage.

Drink it cool, not ice cold (chill it for maybe half an hour in the refrigerator from room temperature), and go ahead and drink it from the bottle, the shape of which is designed to allow for such crassness, and will give you the best benefit of the flavors contained therein.

Wash the bottle carefully on the inside only after consuming the ale, and replace the cap, which will be one of those things that some silly appraiser in a badly-fitted suit will want to see some twenty years from now. Store away from direct sunlight to prevent fading of the label, and dust with a dry cloth only. Keep on a sturdy shelf, out of the reach of cats, small children with balls, and helpful husbands who say, "But it's got a deposit tag, don't you want to recycle it?"

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses overall (really, about a two, but extra props for the collectibility factor)

* It's a hop-vine with clusters of hops, not a grapevine as I thought. Thanks to Jim Lundstrom at the Post Crescent in Appleton, Wisconsin, USA for pointing out my dingbatitude.