Brew Reviews

Dogfish Head Olde School Barleywine

DISCLAIMER .... DRUNK REVIEW.

Availability: Limited edition.

Price comparison: Just over twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 15%.

Cute bottle/label? Standard 12-ounce brown glass with the typical matte Dogfish Head label depicting a cowboy and a suggestion to wrap the bottle in a plastic bag and bury it in the yard for a year.

Appearance: Deep hazy bronze with small white head and thin lace.

Scent: Sweet spices, banana, and tangerine.

Flavor: Very malty and sweet (more like sugars than like fruits), but with a good backbone of hops and a boozy afterburn. Dries nicely at the finish.

Impressions: Another point on the label: it says to pour the contents of the bottle into two snifters. As I'm sure you can tell, I have been giggling about this since I polished off the bottle.

Will I buy this beer again? I actually bought two today, so I could try one and either cellar or share the other. I'm going to share the other, but I am going to buy yet another for cellaring.

Rating:

Bring on the shiny cuppage.

5 out of 5 GOLD CHALICES

Samuel Adams Triple Bock

DISCLAIMER .... DRUNK AND ECSTATIC REVIEW.

Availability: Elusive at best. I was told, as late as yesterday afternoon, to kiss it off, since there is, presumably, no more available.

Price comparison: I've no idea. It was a gift.

Alcohol percentage by volume: I don't know what year this bottle is from. The stuff was 17½% when it was brewed.

Cute bottle/label? Cobalt blue glass, 8½ ounces. No label; gilt lettering applied directly to the bottle. And, a big plus: a cork that actually fits back into the open bottle.

Appearance: Thick, black, syrupy pour with no carbonation whatsoever.

Scent: I had heard that the older this triple bock gets, the more it smells like soy sauce, and I didn't believe it, but it's true. Well, actually, the impression I got was more that of teriyaki. Sweet, salty, some ginger. Weird. However, I tried it again, leaving it at room temperature for about ten minutes before pouring, and this time there was no scent of teriyaki whatsoever, only an interesting pop of brandy, coffee, and maple.

Flavor: Extremely sweet and thick. Not beerlike in any sense. It doesn't burn going down, but it warms when it lands. Oh, does it ever.

Impressions: This was a beer I've been curious about for quite a while. I had found out about it, completely by accident, and was intrigued by the concept of beer that had maple syrup in the mix and that was aged in barrels that had been salvaged from the Jack Daniels distillery. (The 17½% ABV caught my attention as well, I must admit.)

I want to weep with relief that this was so worth waiting for. It's never in a million years beer, I cannot stress that enough. This should be sampled for the experience more than for the flavor. If you want a nice refreshingly thirst-quenching beer, this ain't it, friend.

If you do manage to get your hands on some, hold onto it; it seems to age beautifully. Do not serve it ice cold; do not gulp it; do not drive drunk. I got the best flavor out of it by chilling it for two hours and letting it sit at room temperature for ten minutes, and I drank it out of an unchilled brandy snifter.

That having been said, the buzz and the bottle are what made this worth the wait for me.

Will I buy this beer again? I'll never find it again. But if I did, by some miracle, I would.

Rating:

5 out of 5 GOLD CHALICES

ADDENDUM -- THE DAY AFTER:

I need to stress, once again, not to buy this for the flavor. It really doesn't taste as good as the buzz. I still maintain that it was worth the chase, and I stick by my rating based on the alcohol, the fun of the hunt, the bottle, and the whole excitement factor, but on the "buy it again" question ... only as a collector's item, I think, unless I can find a younger vintage with a little more beerlikeness to it.

Eku 28

DISCLAIMER .... DRUNK REVIEW.

Price comparison: A little over twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: The label says 11%; the guy at the IHOD says it's been aged to the point where it's far beyond that and I believe him. He estimates it at a 25%. I personally couldn't pinpoint it that accurately even if I were sober. Which I am not.

Cute bottle/label? Slender, graceful 11.2 ounce brown glass bottle. Available in six-packs, but I didn't bother, just bought one bottle. It's enough.

Appearance: Bright clear orange; fizzy head that settled almost instantly into a thin ring of lace.

Scent: Ka-booze. Sugar, sweet fruits, malt, but the predominant aroma is that of unadulterated alcohol. In a good way.

Flavor: Very sweet and warming; a mixture of fruits and some toasted coconut, I guess. If I were at an official beer tasting, I'd get laughed out of the room, because the finish honest-to-God reminds me of honey-nut Cheerios.

Impressions: This was my first experience with an Eisbock, and I am indeed impressed. Whoa. This hit me harder than either of the Dogfish Head high-alcohol offerings. Do not, I repeat, do not gulp; for one thing, it burns a little going down if you don't sip it, and for another thing, you shouldn't need to. I drank this nicely out of a glass and still managed to get plastered.

Do this for yourself at least once in your life. Even if the IHOD kid is wrong about the final ABV, it's definitely more than 11% beer we're dealing with.

Will I buy this beer again? It's good. And even at twice the price of national-brand beer, it's more cost effective than scotch.

Rating:

5 out of 5 GOLD CHALICES

Dogfish Head World Wide Stout

DISCLAIMER .... DRUNK REVIEW.

Availability: Limited edition (2003 vintage).

Price comparison: About 2½ times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: This year's offering is 21%, so, sort of the opposite of 12% Beer.

Cute bottle/label? Standard 12-ounce brown glass with a matte label proclaiming the contents to have been brewed with "a ridiculous amount of barley." Dogfish Head never fails to amuse me.

Appearance: Pours as dark and thick as yesterday's coffee, with a deep beige head that disappated quickly with no lace.

Scent: The first aroma I detected was booze, pure and simple. On closer inspection, I still couldn't decide what it was that I was smelling: sort of like caramel, sort of like banana, sort of like plum-flavored Jelly-Belly^® brand jellybeans.

Flavor: Rum, black grape, and malt, with a more-pronounced alcohol burn than the 120-minute IPA.

Impressions: My first taste of this caused me to take the Lord's name in vain, and subsequent tastings made me commit repeat blasphemy. I don't care what the label says, this isn't stout. It's hardly beer - I think it's more of a barleywine. Not that I care so much.

Will I buy this beer again? Not now. 'Cos I'm, you know, drunk and things. I will buy more as soon as I can, and I so owe Laura a bottle.

But for now I shall just sit quietly and hum to myself.

Rating:

Beyond the cute beer glass. You know what this means, don't you?

5 out of 5 GOLD CHALICES

Dogfish Head 120-Minute I.P.A.

DISCLAIMER .... Extremely drunk review following. Read at your own risk, drink at your own risk, hell, I'm so toasted I don't particularly care. Also, misspellings, typos, and profanity may ensue. No surprises here whatsoever.

Price comparison: Over 6 times the price of everyday beer. And worth Every. Fucking. Penny. I, however, did not pay for this. Laura did. And she wouldn't take any money from me for it. Did I mention I love Laura? I don't actually know her very well, but I think she is a true friend.

Alcohol percentage by volume: A lot. Wait. I have to look it up. Assuming I can read. Just hold on. Um. Yeah. 20%. Need I say more?

To think I used to be impressed by the concept of 12% beer. (Well, diary-wise, I still am. But this India pale ale is off every chart I ever knew existed.)

Cute bottle/label? A standard 12-ounce brown glass, with a beige matte label. Description on the side referring to itself as the "holy grail for hopheads". Awfully vain but, as far as I'm concerned, with good reason.

Appearance: Butterscotch-colored, clear pour. The head didn't impress but the lace did. It left traces all the way down the glass.

Scent: The first whiff was booze, pure and simple. Very sweet and flowery overall.

Flavor: Tasted more like wine than beer. Lots of sweetness. Reminiscent of going out to bars late at night and having a lot of beer, then a lemon drop or a shot of peppermint schnapps, or both, then having a boilermaker, then having more beer.

Impressions: I'm terribly drunk, but in that good way. Aside from its high alcohol content, this I.P.A. is just plain delicious, and I drank it quickly, between gasps of "Oh, my God, this is so good." I'll rate it tonight, to be sure, but I have never drunk a beer of this caliber before and although I'm in love right now, I don't know how I'll feel about it tomorrow. If my mind changes, I'll let you know. I will tell you, however, that I'm pretty sure that calling this "beer" is rather stretching the definition. There's a picture of hops on the label, and a reference to hops on the description, but I couldn't detect much beerlike in either the aroma or the flavor. This is either wine of some sort, or it's ambrosia. (That's how much I feel - sorry. I had a '70's moment.)

Will I buy this beer again? Not now. Can't drive. But it tastes amazing. And I so owe Laura a bottle.

Rating:

I need a new rating. Not higher than 5 cute beer glasses, which is a perfect score ... but, well, unique. This is a beyond-beer experience and calls for a specialized rating system.

5 out of 5 GOLD CHALICES