Brew Reviews

Santa's Butt Winter Porter

Availability: Winter seasonal.

Price comparison: Dunno - it came as part of my Beer of the Month package.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%.

Cute bottle/label? Standard shaped 11.2-ounce brown glass bottle. Guess what's depicted on the label. (Don't worry; the Big Guy's not mooning, just sitting with his back towards the viewer, on a "butt" - British for "barrel.") A quote on the importer's (Shelton Brothers) page says "The illustration for the Santa's Butt label was painted by Massachusetts artist Gary Lippincott... The poor guy works for beer."

Appearance: Deep brownish-black with a bright dark-amber highlight. Very little in the way of visible carbonation and only a small island of head seconds after pouring.

Scent: Nicely malty with some plum and a bit of coffee.

Flavor: Not as festive, if you will, as I had hoped, based on its seasonal attitude and punchy aroma. A little malt, not much hops, and a dry but not impressive finish.

Impressions: Decently serviceable session porter. Just because I wasn't blown away by it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

Will I buy this beer again? It's really pretty good British porter. If I was in the market for it and saw it, I'd probably buy it based on the cute label art and the seasonality of it all. Note that I didn't get around even to drinking this bottle till nearly Easter.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

City Pale Ale

Availability: I guess nationwide, since it's from Wisconsin, but I got it in a restaurant (which shall remain nameless for reasons that will soon become obvious) in Connecticut. Supposedly a springtime selection, but here it is January and I scored one.

Price comparison: The same price as all the other bottled beers at the restaurant, which is to say, about twice what one would pay buying a national brand in a store and drinking it at home.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5½%.

Cute bottle/label? Twelve-ounce brown glass bottle with a very attractive metallic gold-and-green label.

Appearance: Light amber with an off-white head. Probably would have poured prettier had the glass been, well, glass. Points off for the plastic cup. (Don't even bother asking if it was chilled, as I will have to laugh at you till juice comes out of my nose. The cup was still warm from the dishwasher. I could weep.)

Scent: Malty citrus, with a little bit of that Milwaukee-ish hops, but only when I smelled the bottle, not the cup.

Flavor: Not as hoppy as most examples of what I consider a "pale ale," but certainly more flavorful than Budweiser and less offensive than Miller.

Impressions: Not particularly interesting, but serviceable and smooth for what it was, a decent value, and probably would have been better right out of the bottle. Went pretty well with the steak and baked potato I had for dinner.

Will I buy this beer again? I wouldn't drink it out of plastic again, and I don't think it's worth buying or drinking as a session beer, but it's got a flavor like what Budweiser would like to be when it grows up. Also, it's good to know I have options next time I want beer when I eat at this restaurant.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Rebel Beer

Price comparison: Cheap. Less than many domestics.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.4%

Cute bottle/label? Not really (green twelve-ounce glass with very Bavarian-looking red font on a white label; gold wrap on the neck with Pivni red seal imprinted thereon) but, if you're looking to be entertained, there's always this ad poster:
http://www.beersince1933.com/rebelposter.jpg.

Appearance: Very blonde gold with a snowy head and sticky lace.

Scent: If I smell a loaf of bread, a sauce, or anything else non-beer related and say, "This smells like beer," it's a compliment. When I say the same thing about a beer ... not so much. Rebel just, well, smells like beer. If you want to get snobby about it, I suppose you could say it smells like a decent lager, but that's semantics.

Flavor: Absolutely nothing distinguishing. Light malt to start, little to no finish whatsoever. Okay mouthfeel, and less watery than domestic, but no warmth.

Impressions: I haven't been able to work much with new beers lately, and I decided to write this classic up for a variety of reasons. Firstly, I had not represented the Czech Republic at all in this site, and they do make very serviceable, clean beers, of which this is one example. Secondly, this is pretty easily available, and thirdly, it's very inexpensive; fourthly, and probably most importantly, Rebel, for all its unremarkability, is a multitasker to the extreme.

Will I buy this beer again? My personal preference tends toward ales rather than lagers, and I can't in good conscience recommend a beer with this low of an alcohol percentage without warning you not to try to get drunk with it, since your bladder will explode first. But Rebel sets off savory foods extremely well without overpowering them, is very thirst-quenching, and is incredibly inexpensive and available. I often order Rebel in bars where they have only a few imports lined up and everyone else is drinking Bud Light.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Weyerbacher Blanche

Availability: On tap in New York State.

Price comparison: About the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5%.

Cute bottle/label? 10-ounce sample from the kegs at the MOBY DICK.

Appearance: Cloudy, pale, not-quite-straw-colored. More of a manila folder-colored with maybe a little more yellow to it. The head was thick and bright-white, but neither lingered nor left any traces on the glass.

Scent: Lemon peel, brown rice, and a touch of yeastiness.

Flavor: A bit of spiciness and hops to the start, with coriander seed and a bit of acidity at the back and a dry, clovelike finish.

Impressions: It was interesting; not the best witbier I've ever tasted and the slight acidity in the flavor needed a partner. I think I wouldn't mind drinking this with a salad or bitter greens, but I didn't think of it as a session beer or a beer whose flavor would stand on its own.

Will I buy this beer again? It was okay, but I won't be going back to fill my ½-gallon growlers with it. Weyerbacher has other varieties that I prefer and other brewers have other witbiers that I prefer, but this was worth the experience and if it was offered to me again (say, at a picnic) I'd certainly feel safe drinking it and knowing it's not that bad.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

БAЛTИKA (Baltika) #6 Porter

Price comparison: About the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 7%

Cute bottle/label? 25-ounce squat brown glass. Short neck wrapped in a foil triangle, like the other Baltika offerings.

Appearance: Dark, like cola, with a sticky brown head.

Scent: Extremely malty, with hints of smokiness and molasses.

Flavor: More like a thin stout than a domestic porter in mouthfeel. I detected very little hops, even at the finish, but I've been sick and I'm out of practice. The flavors were decently restrained and balanced, some dark fruit and a bit of mocha, with a smoky finish.

Impressions: I think I like this better than some of the other porters I have had, but probably because it was almost like a doppelbock. It was a little heavily carbonated, so if I was going to be drinking it in mixed company, I'd probably want it slightly off the chill. It's a big but drinkable beer, and the flavor and texture would go well with beef or any strongly-flavored dish, perhaps something with onions and/or garlic.

Will I buy this beer again? I preferred it to the Baltika Extra, which has more alcohol but less flavor. I might buy this again, but not in bulk; it's more of a taster's beer than a crowd-pleaser. (And, okay, I am a sucker for the Cyrillic labeling.)

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Ruddles County Ale

Price comparison: Slightly less than the average domestic, but only because it was part of a special promotional package. I believe the regular price of this beer is about the same or a bit more than the average domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.7%.

Cute bottle/label? Chunky 25 ounce clear glass bottle with a ripcap. Also available in nitro cans.

Appearance: Clear orange with a small off-white head and not much lace. Syrupy brown ring left behind in the bottom of the bottle (possibly a common thing not usually noticed except that this bottle is of clear glass).

Scent: Lightly nutty, with some citrus and pineapple and some fruitlike hops.

Flavor: Sweet malt with some gentle fruitiness to it, and a very bitter hops finish. Became more malty as it warmed.

Impressions: I'd never seen a ripcap before and found it so amusing that I put it onto my keyring. Also, I liked the ripcap in the sense that the bottle had a nice wide mouth but was not threaded, making it pretty easy to drink out of if that's your thing.

This is an extremely drinkable session brew, thirst-quenching, but not particularly strong. Two were in order to get the nice buzz of one better-balanced and smaller (twelve-ounce) Canadian ale, yet two also meant twice as many bathroom breaks. Furthermore, I felt this ale could have used the creamy mouthfeel usually imparted by the nitro can to improve its flavor, cute as the ripcap was.

Will I buy this beer again? Perhaps in the nitro can. I will, however, be on the lookout for other brews with the ripcap. I do find them very cute indeed.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Smashie's Amber Lager

Availability: On tap at a John Harvards brewpub only.

Price comparison: Standard beer-on-tap pricing, or a sampling at $1 per 2-3 ounce serving.

Alcohol percentage by volume: Varies from brewing to brewing; this sample was about 4.8%.

Cute bottle/label? One of five tiny glasses served on a divided wooden paddle.

Appearance: Hazy red-gold with no head, but a thin film of lace on the surface.

Scent: Toasted malt and very floral hops.

Flavor: The flavor is predominantly malt, very crisp and light, with a lot more hops at the finish.

Impressions: Of the five beers I sampled on this trip, this was the one I liked the least, and, furthermore, it was the reason I didn't get any nut-brown ale (they weren't planning on brewing more till the amber lager was used up). However, leaving bias out of the equation, this was not really terrible, just not as wonderful as the others (reviews pending, hang in there).

Will I buy this beer again? At John Harvard's you basically have to take what they've got. This would be a very bad thing if you were dealing with a bar that only supplied national brands, but John Harvard's is a brewpub, and you can be secure in the knowledge that what you are getting is the freshest, most versatile, most drinkable beer they can produce. Don't try to get drunk off their low ABV offerings; you'll just be asking for a night of constant restroom-hopping and a headache the next day. Order the style of beer you like and their version is bound to make you happy. If you're not sure what goes with what you're eating, ask your server or bartender; they do know.

This particular lager is more appetizing to me and has more character than bottled lager. I would order it again at a John Harvard's if it were available and I were eating something that traditionally pairs with lager (their fresh bread, for instance, is heavy on rosemary and garlic and is served with infused olive oil for dipping).

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

John Harvard's Light

Availability: On tap at a John Harvard's brewpub only.

Price comparison: Standard beer-on-tap pricing, or a sampling at $1 per 2-3 ounce serving.

Alcohol percentage by volume: Varies from brewing to brewing; this sample was about 3½%.

Cute bottle/label? One of five tiny sample glasses served on a divided wooden paddle.

Appearance: Clear yellow with scant head but decent lacing.

Scent: Clean, light cereal-like flavor, reminiscent of wheat germ.

Flavor: Fresh hoppiness with a faintly nutty back; more pronounced as it warmed. Definitely reminded me of walnut or pecan at the finish.

Impressions: Extremely drinkable, of course, given the low ABV. This is designed to accompany a diversified selection of foods and to introduce pub guests to different brews, and it performs its task admirably.

Will I buy this beer again? Its flavor, while more balanced and interesting than the average light macrobrew, is a bit too light for my personal taste, but I don't hesitate to recommend this to anyone who's looking for a light beer on tap.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Limburg Witbier

Recommended by: Matt

Sent by: Darsha

Price comparison: I don't know; it was a gift.

Availability: Not only is this beer only available in the US to a very limited market, and only in its specially-pasteurized-for-export form, and not in Connecticut at all, but apparently it's hard to find the real stuff in New Zealand as well. The above-mentioned Beer Fairy had to go on a beerhunt for it.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5.2%

Cute bottle/label? 330 ml brown glass bottle with a subtle brasstoned, navy blue, and white pentagonal label.

Appearance: Sort of a creamy opaque orange with a white head and quite a bit of sediment.

Scent: Tangerines, malt, and crushed coriander seeds.

Flavor: The coriander seems to be the big star in this beer; also some wheatiness and malt. Finished very lightly with some sweetness.

Impressions: This is more of what I expect of a beer than the other New Zealand beers that I've tried. It definitely has the most flavor of all the ones I've had so far and was very drinkable indeed.

Will I buy this beer again? I can't. It was so hard to get; not just for me, but for the Beer Fairy. Plus, she actually sent two beers in this shipment, but this was the only one that arrived intact. Damned Customs people who don't know the definition of "Fragile."

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Brooklyn Monster Ale

Availability: Limited edition (2003 vintage).

Price comparison: About $2 more per six-pack than everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 11.8%.

Cute bottle/label? Standard shaped 12-ounce brown glass bottle; silver metallic label with the trademark white-on-green "B" (for Brooklyn) logo.

Appearance: Deep brown with a short-lived tan head. No lace.

Scent: Booze. Well, okay, some malt, but I had to work for it. Mostly booze.

Flavor: Sweet, brandylike flavor; closer to barleywine than to beer, really. No detectable hops bitterness. Kind of like straight rum at the finish.

Impressions: Not as elegant as L'Onze (Unibroue's Eleven) nor as good of a buzz as Dogfish Head's 120-Minute IPA, but certainly an acceptable flavor for a barleywine, and reasonably priced, especially when you consider that you don't need as much of this as you would of standard session beer. I'd recommend having it with a meal rather than with snacks to keep it from being overwhelming; the sweetness (nearly to the point of crassness) needs to be balanced a bit. Burgers, pizza, or possibly a dinner-sized salad with a strong vinaigrette is the sort of thing I mean.

Will I buy this beer again? If I can grab some more of this vintage, I will, and put aside at least one bottle for rereview next year. As far as drinking it now, maybe occasionally, when I want that kick without spending the extra fold.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Weyerbacher Winter Ale

Availability: Winter seasonal.

Price comparison: About twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.1%.

Cute bottle/label? Standard shaped 12-ounce brown glass bottle; label depicting a bunch of snowmen toting cases and six-packs of beer.

Appearance: Dark cola-colored with a short-lived tan head.

Scent: A bit like burnt toast, not in a bad way as such.

Flavor: Slight mocha feel to the taste, with some malt but no detectable hops. Dry finish.

Impressions: This beer was offered to me at the MOBY DICK as an alternative to the Weyerbacher Raspberry Imperial Stout, which was out of stock. It was good, but it just wasn't what I was looking for. Touted as a "strong ale", it wasn't particularly strong, and no matter how strong a strong ale is, it can't ever be an alternative to stout, if stout was what you were craving.

Will I buy this beer again? I didn't dislike this beer, even if it wasn't a stout. I'm not planning on going out of my way to get more (cute snowmen notwithstanding), but if it came my way I wouldn't say no to it. I'd say it'd be a nice winter session ale in the sense that you could probably drink a couple without getting too impaired and not need to relinquish your comfy seat by the fireplace to have a pee. I'd also venture to say this wouldn't taste at all bad washing down grilled meats or strongly-flavored veggies like mushrooms.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Trafalgar India Pale Ale

Price comparison: About three times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%.

Cute bottle/label? 25 ounce capsule shaped brown glass bottle; blue-toned label depicting sailing ships and a navigator's globe. I freely admit to having selected this ale based solely on an attraction to the label art.

Appearance: Hazy orange, thin head with some lace on the surface.

Scent: Orange and lemon zest with some flowery hops.

Flavor: Bitter and peppery with an earthy, herbal finish.

Impressions: Again, I'm noticing that the British IPAs are more of a cross between bitter and IPA than the American versions. This is nicely dry and versatile, but doesn't seem as well balanced as a domestic IPA.

Will I buy this beer again? There are other bitters and other IPAs that I like better than this and are more reasonably priced. This is good and I wouldn't turn it down, but I won't be buying it regularly, no matter how pretty the label is.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Harvey's Elizabethan Ale

Availability: A limited-edition ale. This bottle was #355 of the 1998 vintage.

Price comparison: About three times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 8.1% at bottling.

Cute bottle/label? 275 ml standard shaped brown glass bottle. Metallic label with the year 1953 marked prominently, referring to the fact that the Lizzie (as it's known colloquially in Sussex, its hometown) was originally brewed to honor the coronation of the queen.

Appearance: Dark cloudy brown, not heavily carbonated. Little head, quickly disappated, and no lacing to speak of, just a few scattered specks on the glass.

Scent: Smoky and deep, like sherry. Toffee, raisins, malt.

Flavor: The first flavor that this ale reminded me of was grilled steak, oddly (and pleasantly). It was definitely more like sherry than like beer, with a rich caramel flavor emerging as it warmed.

Impressions: This is stronger than it leads one to believe; its higher ABV is camouflaged by the heartiness of the flavors. It's earthy and comforting, but I'd be cautious about drinking it on an empty stomach. Fortunately, the balance of this ale is such that it would hold its own with almost any entrée (seafood, I'd say not, unless it was fried, but certainly any strongly-seasoned poultry, pork, or beef dish).

Will I buy this beer again? At three times the price of regular beer, this is a bit costly for regular consumption; there are other ales available, more reasonably priced, that are more special than this. I'd buy this again if I knew, for instance, that I needed something to serve with prime rib or leg of lamb; otherwise I think I'd just buy either beer or sherry.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Pangaea

Availability: This ale is being discontinued; I got one of the last bottles ever.

Price comparison: About twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 7%

Cute bottle/label? 750 ml bottle, corked and caged. The label is Dogfish Head's traditional matte label, with a stylized antique map (depicting the Pangaea - the original single continent that existed before continental drift caused the land masses to separate and the oceans to fill in the blanks. Go me for giving you a Greek lesson), the word "beer" crossed out in every description, and a small, subtle hint to "think globally [and] drink globally."

Appearance: Peach colored and slightly cloudy. The head foamed but did not endure, and left no lace.

Scent: Ginger and hops. Also something in the subtext that reminded me of a freshly mown lawn. In a good way, I suppose, although that aroma doesn't usually tend to whet my appetite or thirst.

Flavor: The single most mild, uncomplicated Dogfish Head offering I've ever tasted. I admit I originally chilled it a bit too long and as a result there was very little complexity in the flavor. However, I tried again once it warmed slightly, at which point I could sort of taste the ginger, but it's still not as interesting as the other Dogfish Head brews.

Impressions: Spoiled by the wonder that is Dogfish Head, I really was a little disappointed by this experiment. They're usually right on the money, but I have to agree with their decision to discontinue the line. This is acceptable, slightly stronger than the normal session beer, but it was pricy for what I got; namely, a bottle with a pretty map on the label to add to my antique map/globe collection.

Will I buy this beer again? It was worth trying just to know that Dogfish Head isn't always perfect, and to say that yes, I did try it before it was discontinued. If you see it available and don't mind spending extra for a fairly pedestrian brew, have at it, but I can't say I'd recommend your going out of your way to seek it out.

The label, incidentally, does include a sentence, almost as an afterthought, stating that "[t]his beer ages with the best of 'em." If I didn't know better, I'd think that one of their marketing moguls suggested, "Let people think that, if it doesn't taste excellent now, it will in a few years. Then they'll buy out the rest of the line." I grant that it's possible that it will, indeed, age well, but having finished off the bottle, I can tell you that the sediment at the bottom was predominantly grated ginger, not yeast or sugar, and I can't say whether or not that would lend itself well to the aging process. If you care to experiment, I suppose you could, but I personally am planning to chalk this one up to experience and move on with my life.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

San Miguel Dark

Recommended by: ska-t

Price comparison: 1½ times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5%

Cute bottle/label? Squat brown twelve-ounce glass bottle with metallic gold label.

Appearance: The color of black coffee, with a light head and sodalike carbonation.

Scent: Brown sugar, cherries, cinnamon toast, malt.

Flavor: Very mild considering its color and aromas; nothing really distinctive, just light and cool.

Impressions: I started drinking this beer, on and off, years ago. The bad news is that it doesn't taste as good as it smells; the good news is that it does have an easy, not-too-sweet finish that renders it pretty refreshing.

Will I buy this beer again? It's a little pricier, but I do still buy this beer from time to time. I usually buy it in wintertime, oddly enough, because it keeps me from being too depressed when the weather gets particularly wretched.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Celebrator Doppelbock

Recommended by: ska-t

Price comparison: About the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.7%

Cute bottle/label? Fourpack of standard-shaped 11.2-ounce brown glass with an old world-style woodcut-looking label. Also the first beer I have ever purchased that came with a "toy surprise": a goat-shaped plastic charm hung round the neck of the bottle with red string. Methinks I smell four new ornaments for the Christmas tree.

Appearance: Poured as dark and opaque as the bottle itself, with a thick tan head and sticky lace.

Scent: Extreme sweetness. Molasses, malt, dried berries.

Flavor: Malt was the first flavor I detected, but it was quickly chased by a melange of very sweet flavors: black grapes, cashews, dark brown sugar. A nice finish of hops and light alcohol, not dry.

Impressions: This double bock fits its purpose, that of being a sweet, relaxing, full-bodied beer, extremely well. It's pretty easily drinkable but a bit cloying in terms of wanting more than one in a sitting; however, it's got a high enough alcohol content that you can do just one, say instead of coffee after dinner, and be happy.

Will I buy this beer again? I absolutely recommend this beer as the best example of a double bock that I have ever tasted. I'm not usually a fan of this style, and I don't think I'll be buying it for home, but I'd have no problem ordering it in a tavern, particularly if they had a fireplace and comfy chairs.

(Question: if you order this in a bar, do they let you keep the toy surprise?)

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

БAЛTИKA (Baltika) Extra

Price comparison: About the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 8%

Cute bottle/label? 25-ounce brown glass with a very short, almost nonexistent neck that was wrapped in a triangle of foil. The whole effect reminded me of a matrioshka doll wearing a babushka, but that may simply have been my subconscious reaction to the beer's origins.

Appearance: Bright, clear gold with thick white head; no lace on the glass but a light film on the surface after the head disappated.

Scent: Nothing distinctive, but very clean and fresh overall.

Flavor: Reminded me a bit of mesclun salad with a hit of sea salt. Crisp and with a slight alcoholic tang, but not overpoweringly so.

Impressions: It looks nice, its aroma and flavors are completely inoffensive, and it's a nice kick for the money spent. On the downside, it's a bit more boring than I'd hoped. If I buy a beer with that many weird letters on the outside, I'd really prefer to be able to say, "I tried it and I was really impressed by it." I tried it and it's not too bad.

Will I buy this beer again? This is probably never going to be a regular player in my home, but if I'm entertaining, I'd certainly feel okay offering this to my guests who prefer lager to ale or stout. And, after all, there are all the weird letters on the outside going for it.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Monty Python's Holy Grail Ale

Price comparison: About twice what I pay for everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.7%

Cute bottle/label? This was the selling point, without question. Black Sheep Breweries utilizes an interesting bottle for all their bitters: a capsule-shaped brown glass bottle with broad shoulders (decorated with a cluster of grapevines* around their perimeter) holding a generous pint and nine ounces of liquid refreshment. The Monty Python Holy Grail Ale is no exception there. What makes it unique is its label, specially commissioned for the 30th anniversary of British comedy troupe Monty Python: a bright yellow background is home to a cartoon by Python artist/film director Terry Gilliam, hearkening back to the feature film Monty Python's Holy Grail. The "gr" in "grail" is exed out, furthering the joke and leading to the punch line: a subtext in smaller font reading "Tempered over burning witches."

Appearance: Caramel-colored with a nice head and a satisfactory island of lace on the surface.

Scent: A light yeastiness, other scents ambiguous to the point of being either nonexistent or just unrecognizable.

Flavor: Unremarkable British bitter ale. Nicely balanced and not at all unpleasant. Reminded me of eating pretzels (a little saltiness and baked flavor) but the aftertaste is more bittersweet.

Impressions: Definitely worth it for the collectibility of the bottle. Otherwise, there are better brews from the same part of the world, and equally good bitters from the same brewery, that go down about the same but far less expensively. Although I imagine the argument could be made that it was difficult for them to get as good a flavor as they did get, considering the number of witches they had to burn for the tempering process.

Will I buy this beer again? Honestly, I can't recommend this bitter for any reason other than its novelty factor. It's not bad but it's certainly not outstanding, nor did I expect it to be. I bought it for the bottle, I have the bottle, and that's enough for me.

However, I am not unaware that some of you, like me, want the bottle, and will therefore want to drink the ale, just to say you did. If you don't normally drink British bitter ale, this may taste funny to you. And funny, while important if you're a member of a 30 year-old comedy troupe, is not always welcome in a beverage.

Drink it cool, not ice cold (chill it for maybe half an hour in the refrigerator from room temperature), and go ahead and drink it from the bottle, the shape of which is designed to allow for such crassness, and will give you the best benefit of the flavors contained therein.

Wash the bottle carefully on the inside only after consuming the ale, and replace the cap, which will be one of those things that some silly appraiser in a badly-fitted suit will want to see some twenty years from now. Store away from direct sunlight to prevent fading of the label, and dust with a dry cloth only. Keep on a sturdy shelf, out of the reach of cats, small children with balls, and helpful husbands who say, "But it's got a deposit tag, don't you want to recycle it?"

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses overall (really, about a two, but extra props for the collectibility factor)

* It's a hop-vine with clusters of hops, not a grapevine as I thought. Thanks to Jim Lundstrom at the Post Crescent in Appleton, Wisconsin, USA for pointing out my dingbatitude.

Birra Peroni

Price comparison: I had this in a restaurant, as I got taken out to dinner unexpectedly, and therefore, having become an insufferable critic, I ordered a beer I'd never had before and borrowed a pen and order blank from the server for taking notes. At any rate, because it was a restaurant, I paid about twice what you'd pay in a store.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%

Cute bottle/label? Not really. 12-ounce green glass; white label with red and green accents in case we'd forgotten it was Italian.

Appearance: Your basic lager. Darker and less obviously YELLOW! than Mountain Dew, but slightly lighter than straw. Decent suds; some laciness left on the glass.

Scent: What a brat I've become. This lager smelled skunky to me after all the yummy 9% ale I've been consuming lately. On second sniff, I could detect a little spiciness, but not anything recognizable.

Flavor: Tasted better than it smelled. There was some bitterness to it; I wound up (God forgive me) requesting a wedge of lemon with which to doctor the flavor, and it worked like a charm. Peppery toward the bottom of the bottle.

Impressions: Not unlike Corona in flavor; definitely a good pizza beer. Not so much of a good kick-back-and-relax beer, and very — how shall I put this delicately? oh, I guess I can't — bubbly. Not a beer to be consumed in front of handsome young men. Fortunately, handsome young men stopped buying me beers years ago, and if That Man of Mine was going to have issues with my belching half the alphabet, he'd have said something a long time ago.

Will I buy this beer again? Maybe I'll pick some up next time we have pizza. I don't imagine it's going to occupy a regular spot in my fridge though.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses