Brew Reviews

Layla Dirty Blonde Lager

Recommended by: Spencer the Scruffy Beer Kid

Price comparison: About the same as everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: I cannot find a listing, nor is it noted on the bottle. Whatever it is, it's low; certainly less than 5%.

Cute bottle/label? Six-pack of standard shaped 11.2-ounce brown glass bottles; oval navy blue label trimmed with red and depicting a stringed instrument drawn in rather a Chagall style.

Appearance: Dark clear yellow-orange with a small white head and no lace.

Scent: Hoppy without being perfumy, i.e., more like leaves than like flowers.

Flavor: Light and uncomplicated; hoppier than the average lager with a little bit of caramel and malt at the finish.

Impressions: Another helpful pronunciation hint from your friendly neighborhood amateur beer reviewer: the name of this beer looks like "Layla" (the girl who had Eric Clapton on his knees) but is actually pronounced "lie-lah" (like Delilah, the woman who punked Samson and Tom Jones) and is the Hebrew word for "evening".

But I digress.

This is a clean beer, refreshing, drinkable, more interesting and robust (and certainly hoppier) than a traditional lager. It would pair well with barbecue or a strong seafood like grilled salmon. And yes, it's kosher, if that's what you're shopping for.

Will I buy this beer again? I might. I wasn't wowed, but neither was I put off. My guess is that I would only purchase this again for something different to serve to family and friends, from a nation not normally heard from in terms of beer.

Rating:

2½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Dogfish Head Au Courant

Availability: Winter seasonal.

Price comparison: About 1½ times the price of a domestic national brand.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 7%

Cute bottle/label? It's Dogfish Head. Standard shaped 12-ounce brown glass bottle wrapped in the usual understated matte label with a bit of cleverness; in this case, "brewed with currants to bolster your bluster in the colder weather."

Appearance: Brightly transparent gold with neither discernable head nor lace. Not flat, just very lightly carbonated.

Scent: Mixed berries (raspberries, blueberries, maybe some wild cherry) and white grapes. I don't really smell any currants at all.

Flavor: Tastes very mixed-berry indeed; not much alelike in the flavor. Some malt comes through as the mixture warms, but overall the flavor is rather weak.

Impressions: The concept really sounded better than it tasted. It's all right, but I expect better than "all right" from Dogfish Head.

Will I buy this beer again? I can safely say no to this one. Dogfish Head's got better offerings, including year-round IPAs that kick ass and take names. I'll have those instead, thanks.

Rating:

2½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Speight's Gold Medal Ale

Recommended by: Darsha

Price comparison: I don't know; it was a gift.

Availability: Not in Connecticut. You can get specially pasteurized singles at Trader Joe's in some states, but they don't taste the same as the stuff available to the Lord of the Rings cast, assuming they drank whilst filming and assuming they drank beers. Well, it was available for them. Whether or not they had any was their own prerogatives, I reckon.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4%

Cute bottle/label? 500 ml. navy can with orange and yellow trim.

Appearance: Rust-colored with thick white head and islands of lace on the surface.

Scent: Very faint malt.

Flavor: Light autumn fruitiness (Bartlett pears, maybe?) and malt, with some hops actually distinguishable. A bit of a metallic carbonation aftertaste.

Impressions: Of the three New Zealand beers I've sampled thus far, this is the most flavorful.

Will I buy this beer again? I would be more apt to purchase this than a domestic macrobrew if it were readily available, but it's just not.

Rating:

2½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Tui East India Pale Ale

Recommended by: Darsha

Price comparison: I don't know; it was a gift.

Availability: Some availability in the US (in its specially pasteurized import incarnation) at specialty markets in some states. Unavailable in Connecticut; I had to have a Kiwi take pity on me and send me the real deal.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4%

Cute bottle/label? Squat little 330 ml. orange can, sloganed "classic beer big reputation".

Appearance: Gorgeous clear copper with bright white, thick head and gobs of lace on the glass.

Scent: The aroma pretty much reminds me of filtered apple juice. I'm just not detecting anything else, no matter how much I sniff.

Flavor: Not horrid, but nothing specifically distinguishable in its flavor whatsoever.

Impressions: I don't really think of this as an IPA. I don't taste any hops in it at all, even on the finish. It's very lightly flavored, and practically nonalcoholic by my standards, and, as such, it's thirst-quenching, but I'd be more inclined to believe this was a lager based on the flavor and mouthfeel.

Will I buy this beer again? I'm finding, as I progress, that these sporty little NZ beers have certain traits in common: those who've had the specially-imported versions think they are vile, whereas those who've had the real thing more or less agree they're not too bad. In this country - and others - we tend to expect more bang for our buck, so it's been an odd concept for me to accept a beer knowing well in advance that it is not meant to give me a buzz; rather, it should slake a dry throat, prevent dehydration, and, possibly, wash down a meal. There are beers in America that do little more than that yet promise so much more. But that doesn't answer the question, does it?

Truth is, this was bloody hard for me to get hold of, and I imagine it was a bloody lot of trouble for Darsha to get it to me. If I could get hold of the real thing (as opposed to the crappy American Trader Joe's imported versions), and if it weren't such a hassle to get it, I'd be more inclined to buy this than to buy domestic macrobrews such as Budweiser or Miller. It's more enjoyable both from the visual and the drinkability standpoints. However, when all's said and done, I am still a bit disappointed that it doesn't taste like an IPA, and being that it's so hard to get, whereas I can buy quality domestic IPAs very conveniently, I'd have to say that this was worth it for the experience, and I wouldn't turn it down if it were available, but I won't ask the Beer Fairy to send more of it.

Rating:

2½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Export Gold

Recommended by: Darsha

Price comparison: I don't know; it was a gift.

Availability: That's tricky. This beer, in an altered (specially pasteurized) form, can be purchased in some specialty markets (such as Trader Joe's) throughout the U.S., but not in Connecticut. Fortunately, I have scored some of the real New Zealand stuff thanks to the above-mentioned Beer Fairy.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4%

Cute bottle/label? Unremarkable gold-toned 500ml can.

Appearance: Pale yellow with a big white head and clingy lace.

Scent: Not a whole lot happening, specifically. Light maltiness.

Flavor: Slight malt flavor with some hoppiness in the back, but not much. A bit salty at the finish.

Impressions: This beer is neither better nor worse than the average U.S. major brand. It's cool and refreshing and does exactly what it's designed to do: unlike its American brethren, this beer is marketed specifically as a low-alcohol brew to make it thirst-quenching and drinkable, and thus desired by young people participating in sporting events. In other words, it's enough to make them feel cool and less thirsty but not enough to impair them.

Will I buy this beer again? I don't think I could. As I mentioned, it's available in some states, but not in its virginal New Zealand incarnation, and based on what I've heard from people in other states who have bought this at Trader Joe's, the U.S. version is less than palatable. If you're a Yank, better find a friend in New Zealand who's willing to send you care packages. As for me, I already owe Darsha my firstborn, if I ever have one. If she sends me more, I'll drink it or share it without a problem, but I won't ask her to go out of her way to get it to me.

Rating:

2½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

"He-Brew" Messiah Bold

Recommended by: Grover 72

Price comparison: I don't know; it was a gift.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 4.6%

Cute bottle/label? Six-pack of standard shaped 12-ounce brown glass bottles with a rabbinic-looking fellow painted on the label and a history/description of the brew written on the side (beginning with the words "Why is this beer different from all other beers?" - a parody of the first of the four Passover questions).

Appearance: Dark brown with a small white head and not much lace.

Scent: Roasted nuts (such as hazelnuts or Brazil nuts) and lots of malt.

Flavor: Nutty and sweet, very little in the way of hops. Some faint butterscotch as it warmed; dry finish but sweet aftertaste.

Impressions: Pretty good for a brown ale; certainly better than I was expecting considering the silliness-to-the-point-of-vague-offensiveness of the ethnic jokes all over the label. The alcohol percentage is low average so you could drink this all night if you wanted to.

Will I buy this beer again? I'm not a huge fan of brown ale, so I probably won't buy this again, but it's no reflection on either the beer, the brewer, or Grover 72 - just a matter of personal taste.

Rating:

2½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Éphémère

Price comparison: About twice what I pay for everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 5.5%.

Cute bottle/label? Four twelve-ounce bottles. The most beautiful Unibroue label I've seen so far, with an illustration of a fairy in a flowery meadow, overlaid by a green apple. Seems almost a deliberate campaign for conversion into an expensive tattoo.

Appearance: Somewhere between golden and amber, but closer to golden. Fairly cloudy, head died fast and left virtually no lacing.

Scent: If the label wasn't enough of a clue, you certainly get the hint once you crack the bottle open. Apples. Damn. I couldn't smell anything but apples at first, although, after I gave it my best effort and a few more sniffs, I could finally detect some of the promised curaçao lurking in the wings.

(Helpful hint to readers who are unfamiliar with curaçao: it's a liqueur that tastes like orange zest. Incidentally, even though it looks like it ought to be "cure - a - cow", it's actually pronounced "koor - a - SOW".)

Flavor: One of my favorite lines from Dead Again, which is one of my favorite movies, is this one, delivered by Robin Williams' character: "Either you're a smoker or a nonsmoker. The trick is to decide which one you are, and be that." I identify very strongly with that line, because I haven't had a cigarette in over a year, yet I still feel like a smoker.

But I digress. There was a point to my having brought up that line. Pick which one you are, and be that. Éphémère smells like a wine cooler and tastes like beer. I was very tempted to say, "Go away and don't come back till you've made up your mind." Very dry and malty. Gulping it lets you almost taste apple peels; sipping it, not so much.

Impressions: This beer had a lot less character than I was anticipating, especially since its Unibroue cousins have all made me pretty happy. Éphémère is the French for "transitory", and so this is. The label proudly proclaims it to be composed of apple, coriander, and curaçao, but none of the flavors really makes itself known, although the scent of apple is wildly overpowering. I gave another bottle a go, just to be fair (heh) and, with a dash of cinnamon, another of allspice, and a quick grating of fresh nutmeg, it was more palatable, but I shouldn't have to do the work myself, especially at that price.

By the end of the second bottle, I felt slightly more charitable (or, at least, a little more buzzed). The weather may be too cold for me to properly enjoy this obviously summer-oriented beer, but I'm thinking: Italian combo sub, plus one of these, plus warm day, could well equal a decent picnic. As for the balance of this particular four-pack, I'll use one bottle to par-steam ribs before grilling and the other to deglaze the pan next time I make chicken-apple sausage with onions.

Will I buy this beer again? I wouldn't necessarily turn Éphémère down if someone else bought me one, but I take a little exception to the higher cost. I mean, for a bottle of perfume with a pretty label, the price was reasonable, but for a beer I didn't like well enough to do anything other than cook with, it was kind of expensive.

Rating:

2½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Postscript:
I made pork chops with Éphémère sauce tonight and they came out quite good. Here's my recipe.