Brew Reviews

Santa's Butt Winter Porter

Availability: Winter seasonal.

Price comparison: Dunno - it came as part of my Beer of the Month package.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%.

Cute bottle/label? Standard shaped 11.2-ounce brown glass bottle. Guess what's depicted on the label. (Don't worry; the Big Guy's not mooning, just sitting with his back towards the viewer, on a "butt" - British for "barrel.") A quote on the importer's (Shelton Brothers) page says "The illustration for the Santa's Butt label was painted by Massachusetts artist Gary Lippincott... The poor guy works for beer."

Appearance: Deep brownish-black with a bright dark-amber highlight. Very little in the way of visible carbonation and only a small island of head seconds after pouring.

Scent: Nicely malty with some plum and a bit of coffee.

Flavor: Not as festive, if you will, as I had hoped, based on its seasonal attitude and punchy aroma. A little malt, not much hops, and a dry but not impressive finish.

Impressions: Decently serviceable session porter. Just because I wasn't blown away by it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

Will I buy this beer again? It's really pretty good British porter. If I was in the market for it and saw it, I'd probably buy it based on the cute label art and the seasonality of it all. Note that I didn't get around even to drinking this bottle till nearly Easter.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Great Lakes Burning River

Availability: Year-round, but only in the Great Lakes region of the United States.

Price comparison: Dunno. Drank it as a guest of Nrem and Tawly.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%

Cute bottle/label? Standard twelve-ounce brown glass; label depicts, appropriately enough, a photograph of a burning river.

Appearance: I drank it from the bottle and neglected to check its clarity, color, and head retention. I'll wait here for your lawsuits.

Scent: Mild piney hops and brown rice or toasted wheat, with hints of flower perfume.

Flavor: Subtle malt and hops, with a soft, not overly carbonated mouthfeel and a very clean finish.

Impressions: The name, derived from any one of the three times that Cleveland's polluted Cuyahoga River caught fire, was a bit off-putting, but the beer is serviceable and very drinkable.

Will I buy this beer again? A decent, tasty, and relaxing session beer, sufficiently mild in flavor profile to pair well with pretty much any savory food, this beer only loses points with me in the fact that it's not available nationwide. I'll have more when I'm back in that part of the country, but I can't get it at home.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Morimoto Soba Signature Ale

Availability: Limited edition available only in select markets.

Price comparison: About $2 more (per twelve ounces) than the average domestic national brand.

Alcohol percentage by volume: Unlisted; around 6%.

Cute bottle/label? Twenty-two ounce brown glass bottle with an image of Iron Chef Morimotosan in traditional Asian garb silkscreened directly to the bottle in blue and white.

Appearance: Hazy orange with quickly dissipating head and no residual lace.

Scent: Vaguely toasty malt and light fruit tones.

Flavor: More malt than hops, with light citrus and berry overtones, and a woodsy finish.

Impressions: It wasn't bad at all, but not quite as interesting in flavor as the Morimoto Hazelnut.

Will I buy this beer again? I might; it was refreshing and drinkable, and would go well with seafood.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Sparks

Price comparison: About $1.50 US per can.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%

Cute bottle/label? Silver 16-ounce can with an orange strip round the top; designed to parody a well-known copper-topped battery.

Appearance: Day-Glo orange with no head but fairly serious bright yellow lace.

Scent: Orange Triaminic, with a hint of Tang (like the astronauts drink!)

Flavor: Orange Life-Savers, completely overpowering any discernable alcohol flavor and causing it to be very deceptive indeed.

Impressions: It's not beer, but neither is it a malt beverage. Well, I suppose it is, by Food and Drug Administration guidelines. But honestly, Sparks is neither more nor less than an energy beverage a fizzy lifting drink with a kick not imparted by ginsing, taurine, caffeine, sugar, or any of the other traditional energy beverage fizzy lifting drink ingredients.

Will I buy this beer again? I don't feel very energetic, but I have a slight buzz. Yeah, I'll probably buy it again. Just don't call it beer.

Rating:

Happy April Fool's Day.

Grottenbier Bruin

Price comparison: About $3.00 USD more per twelve-ounces than the standard American macrobrew.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.7%.

Cute bottle/label? 750 ml brown glass, corked and caged, with a dignified blue and white label. The bottle I got has English labeling ("Grotten Brown" is the name on it).

Appearance: Dark brown, like cola, with a thick beige foam that dissapated to a scattering of lace islands.

Scent: Sweet fruitiness: bananas, raisins, cloves, and some citrus and malt.

Flavor: Bitter and yeasty, with a mild funkiness and not enough hops to balance it. A light caramel feel to the finish.

Impressions: It was Belgian, which made it more interesting and slightly higher-octane than domestic brews almost by definition, but it was also one of the less miraculous Belgians I've had.

Will I buy this beer again? I've had better for the price. Not bad, worth a try once, but I'm ready to move on.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Wagner Valley IPA

Price comparison: About the cost of a national domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%

Cute bottle/label? Standard twelve-ounce brown bottle; black label with orange oval-shaped logo. Not at all special.

Appearance: Nice clear amber with a big white head that dissolved quickly but left rings on the glass.

Scent: Scent of spices and orchard fruits (pears and apples) when the bottle was opened; more hops emerged as the brew warmed.

Flavor: Smooth citrus with heavily floral hops, not much malt immediately, but a powdery dry finish with a little bit of warm malt present.

Impressions: Served cold, it was very refreshing for a humid summer night and its low ABV made it pretty relaxing and drinkable.

Will I buy this beer again? This is a good summer session beer - I wouldn't go tearing around in the sun and try to use this to rehydrate myself, but it lends itself well to sitting quietly and fanning oneself whilst recuperating from a long day at work. It would be a good complement to any meal cooked on the grill.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Rare Vos

Price comparison: About $2 more per 12 ounces than the average national domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6½%

Cute bottle/label? 750ml brown glass corked and caged; red and white label, nothing special. Also available in four-pack.

Appearance: Dark orange with a creamy white head and lots of lacing.

Scent: Tart and spicy like citrus peel.

Flavor: Very light malt, with mixed fruity sweetness as it warmed. Clean and uncomplicated finish.

Impressions: Stronger carbonation and lighter in mouthfeel than I tend to expect from a Belgian-style, but not in a bad way.

Will I buy this beer again? In the four-pack next time, but yeah. Good stuff.

Rating:

4 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Road Dog

Price comparison: About the same as national-branded beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.08%

Cute bottle/label? Standard twelve-ounce brown glass; label depicts a punk-ass bad (as in "bad to the bone" bad, not poorly-drawn) pen-and-ink drawing of a pit bull in shades saying, "Good beer; no shit." Also a mini-lineup on the side of "the Flying Dog Litter of Ales," clever, but too small to make out the names as such.

For the record, I would like to state that I bought this almost completely on the basis of being attracted to the label.

Appearance: Dark brownish-black with a thin tan head that disappated to a small disc of lace on the beer's surface.

Scent: Black grapes and malt.

Flavor: Hoppier than I expected given the scent; nicely bitter and citrusy with a finish reminiscent of dark greens like kale or spinach.

Impressions: The bottle says this is a Scottish porter. I found this quite drinkable indeed, but it feels thinner than a porter and more bitter than a typical Scottish ale. I'm not sure how to characterize this. Dark color notwithstanding, I'm inclined to just call it a "bitter" and recommend it with nice strong food like curry or Szechuan.

Will I buy this beer again? It tastes good and is very refreshing, even though it's not really a porter. And it's got a really cool label. How can you not want a beer that has one of the Seven Words You Can't Say on Television right on it in plain sight?

I'm not going to buy it again just yet, but only because I now know about the Flying Dog brewery and am curious about its other offerings (litter-mates). Once I've tried those, I imagine I'll be having some more Road Dog.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Oude Kriek Lambic

Price comparison: About twice the price of beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%.

Cute bottle/label? 12.7 ounce green bottle, shaped like a smaller version of a wine bottle. Label printed to resemble crinkled parchment.

Appearance: Rosy red with a small ring of bubbles round the rim of the glass.

Scent: Okay. (Deep breath.) I need to preface this by saying that this was my first-ever encounter with a lambic. Is everyone clear on that? Good.

It smelled to me like cow poop.

I'm sorry. I can't think of a graceful way to describe the aroma. It's musty and unappetizing and just ... icky.

Flavor: The aroma was so offputting to me I was nearly unable to sample it, but I felt I had to. Lambics, apparently, are very sour. This one is cherry, but I really couldn't taste a lot of cherry. It tasted like a very dry red wine mixed with beer and vinegar. It had a very thin mouthfeel and a dry finish that made me strongly suspect the addition of tannins.

Impressions: As lambics go, particularly krieks, this one was recommended to me by the retailer as one of the more popular ones. But I guess we're going to have to face facts here. I had never had a lambic before and I wanted to see if I'd like them. Apparently, I do not.

I'm going to try to make this as unbiased as possible, so that, if you do like lambics, you can get an idea of what to look forward to here, and also because I feel bad rating a style of beer that I obviously am neither familiar enough with nor fond enough of to be really fair.

Um.

I think that, if you like very dry red wine, or if you like sour beers, then this would be something you would enjoy. It would probably go well with a strongly-flavored beef dish such as grilled steak.

If you are unused to drinking very sour beverages, I would hesitate to recommend this to you, because it is almost painfully sour and the aroma is overwhelming. The experience would take some getting used to. Which leads me to ...

Will I buy this beer again? I will not. This was the first time I not only didn't like a beer I was reviewing, but couldn't even bring myself to finish drinking it. I had to pour it out.

I have no intention of getting used to lambic. If I want dry red wine, I'll have a glass of merlot. If I want to smell cow poop, I'll go to a farm.

Rating:

5 out of 5 chalk marks. Chalking it up to experience.

Hops Infusion

Price comparison: About the cost of a national domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.2%

Cute bottle/label? None (bought ½ gallon on cask).

Appearance: Translucent orange with nicely tingly carbonation. Small ivory head with a semicircle of lace around the perimeter of the surface.

Scent: Floral hops with some starchy sweetness like buttered cornbread.

Flavor: Bitter citrus and hops, some malt that is mostly overtaken by the hoppiness; a pepper/lemon zest finish.

Impressions: Very bitter (seven kinds of hops!) and its light mouthfeel and not-painful ABV make it a good thirst quencher.

Will I buy this beer again? I liked this pretty well. It definitely wants something salty to balance the hops, so plan accordingly or you'll finish off the whole bag of pretzels without being aware of it. I had it with spicy food at dinner and avoided the eating-too-much issue, but only barely. I'm enjoying the whole novelty of being able to purchase draught beer without having to buy a keg of macrobrew, so this is probably going to be my Super Bowl beer this year.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Weyerbacher Winter Ale

Availability: Winter seasonal.

Price comparison: About twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.1%.

Cute bottle/label? Standard shaped 12-ounce brown glass bottle; label depicting a bunch of snowmen toting cases and six-packs of beer.

Appearance: Dark cola-colored with a short-lived tan head.

Scent: A bit like burnt toast, not in a bad way as such.

Flavor: Slight mocha feel to the taste, with some malt but no detectable hops. Dry finish.

Impressions: This beer was offered to me at the MOBY DICK as an alternative to the Weyerbacher Raspberry Imperial Stout, which was out of stock. It was good, but it just wasn't what I was looking for. Touted as a "strong ale", it wasn't particularly strong, and no matter how strong a strong ale is, it can't ever be an alternative to stout, if stout was what you were craving.

Will I buy this beer again? I didn't dislike this beer, even if it wasn't a stout. I'm not planning on going out of my way to get more (cute snowmen notwithstanding), but if it came my way I wouldn't say no to it. I'd say it'd be a nice winter session ale in the sense that you could probably drink a couple without getting too impaired and not need to relinquish your comfy seat by the fireplace to have a pee. I'd also venture to say this wouldn't taste at all bad washing down grilled meats or strongly-flavored veggies like mushrooms.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Trafalgar India Pale Ale

Price comparison: About three times the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%.

Cute bottle/label? 25 ounce capsule shaped brown glass bottle; blue-toned label depicting sailing ships and a navigator's globe. I freely admit to having selected this ale based solely on an attraction to the label art.

Appearance: Hazy orange, thin head with some lace on the surface.

Scent: Orange and lemon zest with some flowery hops.

Flavor: Bitter and peppery with an earthy, herbal finish.

Impressions: Again, I'm noticing that the British IPAs are more of a cross between bitter and IPA than the American versions. This is nicely dry and versatile, but doesn't seem as well balanced as a domestic IPA.

Will I buy this beer again? There are other bitters and other IPAs that I like better than this and are more reasonably priced. This is good and I wouldn't turn it down, but I won't be buying it regularly, no matter how pretty the label is.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

HopDevil Ale

Price comparison: About the cost of a national domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.7%

Cute bottle/label? Twelve ounce standard-shaped; label has a cluster of hops with added eyes, pointed ears, and devil horns, in case the point had not been put across by the name.

Appearance: About the color of strong tea; decent carbonation and creamy suds with a decent half-island of lace left on the surface.

Scent: Hops, of course, but also nice citrus and some clove and caraway.

Flavor: A strong grapefruit flavor predominates, but malt is also detectable. Black pepper bite at the finish.

Impressions: This is indeed a very hoppy ale, but not aggressively so. Quite drinkable considering the ABV.

Will I buy this beer again? It's not special. However, it is affordable and tasty, which go pretty far with me. I mean, not everything can be a Belgian, right?

I've yet to have an India Pale Ale that was a diva and this is no exception; you can put it with just about anything savory and it'll match well (although the grapefruity dryness of this one seems to be begging for good New England seafood). I'll be having this again, probably very soon.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Bad Elf

Recommended by: ska-t - sort of. Actually, he recommended Troeg's Mad Elf, but I couldn't find any, so I bought this to console myself.

Availability: Only sold during the winter holidays.

Price comparison: About twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%

Cute bottle/label? Twenty-five ounce brown glass. Label depicts a rather lecherous-looking elf and an admonition that "too much winter's ale may be bad for your elf, and may impair your ability to drive a sleigh or operate toy-making machinery."

Appearance: Dark golden with a frothy white head and lots of pretty lace on the glass.

Scent: Very hoppy and citrusy.

Flavor: Tastes like a mixture of traditional British bitter and American IPA. Hops and citrus peel predominate, as promised in the aroma, but there's also some spun sugar and malt in the background. The finish is unexpectedly dry but once you feel it, it makes sense.

Impressions: I was looking for one thing and found something completely and totally other. I never had an IPA that wasn't domestic before now, and I was intrigued by the concept. The Brits put their own spin on it that makes it different from the American IPA, yet not so different that you don't immediately recognize the style. Kudos to Scottie for pointing me in the right direction, even though this was so not what he had in mind.

Will I buy this beer again? I will, indeed, be having some more of this. Not anytime soon, as I'm currently inundated by new beers and have to lay off the reruns till after the holidays, but I may get a bottle to cellar for after the holidays, and perhaps yet another, because there's a lot of yeast at the bottom, to keep for next year.

I'd recommend this ale to lovers of British bitter or pale ales alike. This is a crowd-pleaser.

Rating:

4 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Leffe Blonde

Price comparison: About 1½ times the cost of a national domestic.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.6%

Cute bottle/label? Twelve ounce standard-shaped. Glass is lighter brown than usual. Gold foil wrap and parchment-painted label. Separate shoulder label proclaims it an abbey ale "anno 1240".

Appearance: Light gold with a foamy head and slight lace. Looks like pilsner.

Scent: Apples and bananas; not much yeast, a bit of malt.

Flavor: A hint of malt and mint. Slight peppery alcohol finish with a smidge of hops. Very delicate and nicely balanced.

Impressions: The lightest, least complex Belgian I've ever encountered. If you're used to lagers or pilsners and want to work your way into the pale ales, this is a great place to start.

Will I buy this beer again? They recommend you drink this stuff out of its own specially-designed chalice (sold separately, of course), but I had it in a wine goblet and the beer police haven't arrested me yet. It's not the best Belgian I've ever had; nothing extraordinary, but it's tasty, reasonably priced considering its heritage, and the subtle flavoring renders it really versatile. I'll probably buy this one again and it'll be the one I hand out when I say to someone, "Want something to drink?" and they're foolish enough to say, "Uh, do you have any beer?" (Pfft. Do I have any beer.)

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

Belhaven Wee Heavy

Price comparison: About twice the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.5%

Cute bottle/label? Wide 500ml brown glass bottle with raised lettering: "Belhaven est. 1719" on the shoulders. Rampant red lion on the label; gilded lettering proclaiming the brand.

Appearance: Dark clear amber with a thick head and consistent lacing.

Scent: Toasted malt, some unnameable spiciness in the background.

Flavor: Rich and smoky, with a snappy finish. Reminded me of the smell of pipe tobacco.

Impressions: Recommended by John over at the IHOD, who has learned my tastes and is constantly on the lookout for a new beer for me to review. Good boy. This ale would be incongruous with anything spicier than black pepper, and would taste downright weird with ethnic food, I think, but seems nearly tailor-made to wash down burgers and fries.

Will I buy this beer again? I really enjoyed the taste of this beer, but I love that name: wee heavy. I mean, doesn't that just totally speak volumes? It won't be a regular, at that price, but yeah, it's a nice treat.

Rating:

3½ out of 5 cute beer glasses

P.S.: I've found out why they call it Wee Heavy. I had to get up about once an hour last night. It's okay, though; I still like it.

Celebrator Doppelbock

Recommended by: ska-t

Price comparison: About the price of everyday beer.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6.7%

Cute bottle/label? Fourpack of standard-shaped 11.2-ounce brown glass with an old world-style woodcut-looking label. Also the first beer I have ever purchased that came with a "toy surprise": a goat-shaped plastic charm hung round the neck of the bottle with red string. Methinks I smell four new ornaments for the Christmas tree.

Appearance: Poured as dark and opaque as the bottle itself, with a thick tan head and sticky lace.

Scent: Extreme sweetness. Molasses, malt, dried berries.

Flavor: Malt was the first flavor I detected, but it was quickly chased by a melange of very sweet flavors: black grapes, cashews, dark brown sugar. A nice finish of hops and light alcohol, not dry.

Impressions: This double bock fits its purpose, that of being a sweet, relaxing, full-bodied beer, extremely well. It's pretty easily drinkable but a bit cloying in terms of wanting more than one in a sitting; however, it's got a high enough alcohol content that you can do just one, say instead of coffee after dinner, and be happy.

Will I buy this beer again? I absolutely recommend this beer as the best example of a double bock that I have ever tasted. I'm not usually a fan of this style, and I don't think I'll be buying it for home, but I'd have no problem ordering it in a tavern, particularly if they had a fireplace and comfy chairs.

(Question: if you order this in a bar, do they let you keep the toy surprise?)

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses

Birra Peroni

Price comparison: I had this in a restaurant, as I got taken out to dinner unexpectedly, and therefore, having become an insufferable critic, I ordered a beer I'd never had before and borrowed a pen and order blank from the server for taking notes. At any rate, because it was a restaurant, I paid about twice what you'd pay in a store.

Alcohol percentage by volume: 6%

Cute bottle/label? Not really. 12-ounce green glass; white label with red and green accents in case we'd forgotten it was Italian.

Appearance: Your basic lager. Darker and less obviously YELLOW! than Mountain Dew, but slightly lighter than straw. Decent suds; some laciness left on the glass.

Scent: What a brat I've become. This lager smelled skunky to me after all the yummy 9% ale I've been consuming lately. On second sniff, I could detect a little spiciness, but not anything recognizable.

Flavor: Tasted better than it smelled. There was some bitterness to it; I wound up (God forgive me) requesting a wedge of lemon with which to doctor the flavor, and it worked like a charm. Peppery toward the bottom of the bottle.

Impressions: Not unlike Corona in flavor; definitely a good pizza beer. Not so much of a good kick-back-and-relax beer, and very — how shall I put this delicately? oh, I guess I can't — bubbly. Not a beer to be consumed in front of handsome young men. Fortunately, handsome young men stopped buying me beers years ago, and if That Man of Mine was going to have issues with my belching half the alphabet, he'd have said something a long time ago.

Will I buy this beer again? Maybe I'll pick some up next time we have pizza. I don't imagine it's going to occupy a regular spot in my fridge though.

Rating:

3 out of 5 cute beer glasses